A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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