He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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