i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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