Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
