That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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