That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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