Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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