there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
