saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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