I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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