she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
