the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
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everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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