I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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