The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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