Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
