we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
