He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
