is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
