Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
why is half of my head shaved?