So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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