did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
