thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
