do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
