Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
