New invention idea: vibrating tampons
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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