I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm way too hungover for life right now
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
