She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize