did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
