I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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