I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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