is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
