oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
