try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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