I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize