I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm sobbing to NWA
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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