my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
