would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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