Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
