How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
