the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
