dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
