end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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