what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She's the barista slut.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
