i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
