im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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