I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
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You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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