Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
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Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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