Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
