How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
