In the future we'll all be gay
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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