You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
