i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
