I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
