Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
