Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
