If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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