Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Im part way to drunk.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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