Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
